Chapter 180 - Both - How To Heal A Broken Heart (VOLUME 2)
"Trinity?" I called her name for the fifth time and still there was no response. I was losing her, she was spiraling and I didn't know what to do. I had memories flashing through my mind. My mom, rapidly moving beyond my reach. My father gone. My family decimated. I couldn't handle that again. I wouldn't survive it this time, not without her.
"Trinity?" I called to her again, my voice cracking and shaking. "Baby please look at me." I tried one more time to get her attention as I shook her.
"Huh?" She finally responded, like she hadn't even heard me before at all. "What's wrong Reece?" She asked me like nothing had happened at all. Like she had not just been sitting there staring off into nothingness for several minutes.
"Trinity, baby, are you alright?" I asked her, trying to get her to open up to me.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She tried to smile but it was clearly a grimace. She was not ok, but she was trying to be, for me.
"Honey, please don't do this."
"Don't do what?"
"Don't lie to me, please. Don't pretend to be alright. Just talk to me." I wanted to be upset, to hurt like her, but I wouldn't let myself because she needed me to be strong for her. I needed to be her rock, her support, her strength. Whatever she needed from me I would do it. I couldn't lose her. I knew I would never survive it.
She looked at me with shock filled eyes. Either she thought she was a better liar than that, or she really was blocking out what she was truly feeling.
"Reece, I don't know-."
"It's fine to be upset, Little Bunny." I held her in my arms. "It's fine to be mad, and angry, and want to kill Edmond even more than you did before." I chafed my hands up and down over her arms, trying to warm her through the friction. "It's fine to be sad, and hurt, and want to cry. Trust me, I am feeling all those, but just don't leave me behind. Please."
"Leave you behind? What do you mean?" She was confused, at least that was genuine.
"Don't go into the darkness. Don't get lost like my mom did. Please, baby, just talk to me instead of holding it all in."
"Reece?" She seemed to be thinking about what I said, about everything, based on the look on her face. "I don't want to go into the dark. I never want that. But I just felt numb after everything today." I watched as a tear slowly fell down her cheek, trailing a path through the dried blood on the right side of her face.
"I'm going to be here, to anchor you. I am going to be whatever you need me to be. I love you too much to live without you." I was on my knees in front of her, holding her hands tight in my own.
"Reece, I'm sorry." She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. "I'm not going anywhere. Just stay with me and I will stay with you."
"Always." I breathed into her ear as I wrapped my arms around her waist.
Reece was being especially attentive and emotionally supportive. I didn't think that he would be that open with me. I knew he was hurting too, but he was more worried about me than he was himself.
"Reece, aren't you upset as well?" I asked him as I pulled away, breaking the hug but keeping my hands on his shoulders.
"I'm devastated, it's the hardest thing I have ever had to hear. But if someone were to tell me you were gone, I would be destroyed. I can't survive without you." He cupped my cheek as he spoke, rubbing his thumb over my cheekbone as he looked me in the eyes.
"If it came to saving me or our baby, which would you choose?" I asked him, curious to hear his answer.
"You can't ask me that right now." He seemed scared of that question. "Our baby didn't have a chance to survive without you."
"True, but if it did?" He was really not excited to hear that question.
"I don't know." He ran his hand through his hair, or he tried to since half of it was stiff with dried blood and other things. We were both a mess. "Let's not talk about this right now, ok. We need to get cleaned up."
At those words he picked me up and carried me into the bathroom. This kind of luxury resort had lots of amenities, and a killer bathroom. Not as awesome as mine, but hey not everyone could have my place. It had a waterfall shower big enough to fit four people so it would be just perfect for the two of us. And there was a large tub that we could soak in together, given that we were fine with being very close.
Reece set me down in front of the sink and started the water in the shower. I would have loved to soak in the tub. I would feel better after a nice long soak. But as I was currently covered in blood and dust and Reece was covered in gore, that would not make for a pleasant bath. Maybe next time.
While Reece busied himself with getting everything ready for the shower I looked at myself in the mirror. There was blood all over the right side of my head, dried in my hair and smeared down my cheek and neck. My light blue sweater that I had chosen to wear today was covered in dust and dirt that ranged from the white of plaster to the blackish brown of true dirt. There were also smears, and splatters of blood all over my arms. As for my top, in the middle of the belly area, there was a hole about two inches wide where something had pierced through me and had probably been partially responsible for me losing the baby. My black jeans made it hard to see any of the filth, but I felt the stiffness of the dried blood running down both legs.
I don't know how badly I had been injured. I don't know what all happened to me after David pulled us away. But I know that it was bad. I don't remember exactly when I lost consciousness, fully or partially. I remember darkness, pain, yelling, and then nothing. And when I woke up, I was in Reece's arms, the place I most want to be.
"Are you coming?" Reece called out to me, breaking through my thoughts.
"Uh, yeah, sorry I was just lost in thought."
"Come on, get out of these things." He pulled me toward him and started to undo the button on my jeans. There was no seduction or heat to his moves or body, neither of us was interested in anything but getting clean right now.
I let him help me undress. Shedding piece after piece and throwing them directly into the trash. He had already shed his clothes and threw them into the same bin. Filthy or not, covered in a bloody mess or not, I could and would always appreciate the view of this man naked. He was just too hot to ignore.
"Come one, let's get cleaned up." He pulled me along behind him, into the shower. The moment the hot water touched my skin I was able to feel just how cold my body had become. The water felt hot, nearly scorchingly so, but it also felt so nice.
I needed that warmth. My body was craving it right now. The numbing cold that I hadn't noticed at all hit me all at once, causing my body to tremble and shake in Reece's arms as he stood behind me.
"Are you ok?" He asked me as I shivered.
"Just realizing now how cold I was." I told him.
"Come on, get yourself cleaned up, it will help." He grabbed a white washcloth that was hanging nearby and lathered it in soap. The scent that was coming off of it was that of my favorite body wash. The scent was so mild that it was even nearly unnoticeable to shifters like us. Meaning that it would not seem overbearing in any situation. Most of us hated scented soaps, perfumes, and colognes because they were too strong. But there was an entire team of shifters that owned a line of beauty products designed with us in mind. And of course, for humans with allergies that still longed for something scented that didn't bother them.
Reece took that soapy washcloth and began to rub it all across my shoulders and arms. It was like the time he washed me in the tub back at Bryce's pack house. He was thorough and didn't miss anything. This time, however, I insisted on washing my own hair so he took that time to wash his own body as I watched him.
It was still alluring and made me somewhat happy to watch him move his own soap covered washcloth over his sexy, well toned, honied body. His moves were almost hypnotic to me.
I was just standing there, gently rinsing the conditioner from my hair with my eyes glued to his body. As I watched his enticing movement I first felt a slight twinge of pain in my stomach. It was uncomfortable but nothing overly bad so I ignored it.
I had just tilted my head back, to fully rinse the creamy conditioner from my hair when I was wracked with pain. It felt like cramps, only ten times worse. It was the worst thing I had felt, and I had not made it these nineteen years fully unscathed. I curled forward and bent down, nearly sitting on the floor as I wrapped my arms around my midsection.
"Trinity?" Reece crouched down next to me, a look of pure horror and worry in his eyes. "What's wrong Little Bunny? What's happening sweetheart?" He didn't know what was happening to me and was about to panic. I just shook my head, unable to talk. I didn't know what it was either.
I just crouched there, unable to move, unable to talk, wracked with pain. I squeezed my eyes shut in a pathetic attempt to ward off the pain, and ignore it all, but it didn't work. It felt like claws were twisting through and gouging out my insides. Unable to bear the pain any longer I let out a squealing, yelp of pain.
"Ahhh." I breathed after I yelped then hissed through my teeth as I inhaled.
"Baby, what's happening?" Reece asked me again.
"I don't know." I said as I looked at him, my eyes full of tears and pain.
Reece had had his hands on my shoulders, helping to steady me as I crouched in my pain. And just as he moved to help me up I was wracked by another wave of pain that was by far worse than all the rest. But this spasm of pain was accompanied by the sharp scent of blood.
I felt the pain as the blood flowed and poured out of me. The shower now looked like the scene of a murder as the blood swirled around our feet, lingering momentarily before disappearing down the drain. It felt like a lot, but in reality it wasn't as much as it seemed like.
The thing that caught my eye the most was the thing that was not blood. It was a mass that looked like a large blood clot, something any woman who had been through puberty would recognize. But this was no mere blood clot. I finally understood what was happening. My body had just rid itself of the baby that was no longer living inside of me. I had officially miscarried.
I didn't know what to think as I crouched there beside my sweet Little Bunny. She was doubled over in pain, barely able to say three little words. She was holding her abdomen with her arms crossed in front of her. I had so many thoughts going through my head. Was this something residual from the battle?
Was this something that Edmond was doing to her?
Was she going to be alright?
What could I do to help her?
What exactly is happening?
I wanted answers to these questions, but I didn't know how I was going to get them. Then, after she cried out in pain, the floor of the shower was covered in blood as it swirled down the drain. The sharp scent of her blood filled my nose causing anger to well up inside of me. What was I going to do?
"Trinity?" I called out to her as she stared a clump of blood and other things as it sat on the floor of the shower. The last of the blood was washing away, rinsing off of her pale, nearly translucent skin.
I turned off the water and scooped her up into my arms again, holding her close to me as I left the shower and grabbed a towel. I wrapped her in the white cloth that was instantly dyed pink from the remnants of the blood. I would be paying extra for that but I didn't fucking care. I needed to see to my wife.
I carried her to the room and sat her on the side of the bed. She adjusted so that she was sitting on top of the towel rather than the bedspread. I went to grab another towel so I could dry off and get dressed quickly. She seemed to figure out what I was doing and called out to me.
"Reece, stop." Her voice held a note of sadness that I didn't understand.
"What do you mean stop? I'm going to get Griffin." I couldn't fathom what was going on in her head.
"There's no need."
"What the hell do you mean? There's no need, what's that supposed to mean? You're bleeding."
"I don't call that amount of pain or the blood nothing." I tried my best to convince her of my point, but she didn't seem swayed.
"Really Reece, I'm alright. There is no reason to get Griffin."
"You told me you didn't know what was happening, but now you tell me you're fine like you do know. What is going on Little Bunny? Tell me, sweetheart, please." I was pleading with her, I didn't like being in the dark.
"I didn't know at first. But I do know now." Her words felt hollow, empty, like she was detaching herself from what just happened, trying to make it less impactful to her.
"What is it?" I knelt in front of her, half dressed with worry clearly spelled out on my face. "What was that just now?"
"Our baby." Those two words confused me.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that was me miscarrying. That was not just blood in the shower."
"So, that clump of blood, that was-." I trailed off as the truth of those words hit me. All she did was nod her head. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to me, sharing with her the tragedy of the situation.
How was I going to heal my wife's broken heart? How was I going to make this situation better? How was I going to help her not blame herself or feel like she was to blame?
The only thing that came to mind was Juniper, and her new found healing ability. Griffin had healed her body, and Juniper could heal her mind. But that wouldn't heal her heart. That job fell on my shoulders. And I would bend over backwards, walk through hell, and jump through hoops just to help my mate through this situation.